I have very few “celebrity friends.” But one of them is someone very special. His name is Moby. I didn’t really know much about him when we met a few years ago; I knew some of his songs, but when we both participated in the Rachel Bloom/Elizabeth Banks voting musical video encouraging young people to not vote for Trump, we started a friendship.
I enjoyed eating at his vegan restaurant Little Pine before I met him. And I go to that restaurant so often, I worried at first that he would think I was stalking him. Because we’d hang out and then I’d show up at his restaurant. That happened several times.
Moby and I discuss pretty much everything. He is wise and kind and he is the kind of person I could talk to for hours and still have hours more to talk about.
I have learned a lot from Moby. Last time we hung out, I expressed dismay at “haters” online, and he gave me these suggestions, which I have been incorporating into my life ever since he told me about them.
Here are My Friend Moby’s Tips for Dealing With Online Haters:
- Compassion. People who spend their time saying cruel, hurtful, insulting things online are not happy people. If they say they are happy, they are likely hurt or ashamed of who they are deep down. I can hope their lives improve so that they–and all who hate in person or online–can be free of the need to try to hurt others.
- Perspective. Think about the people with fewer resources, less maturity, and less perspective than you have. Think of the young people in the LGBTQ community attacked with no one to help them understand it. Think of those driven to harm themselves because of the horrendous things their peers post about them. Think of the girls and boys shamed for things they didn’t know would not be kept private. Those people–especially young people out there–have it far worse than I do and I need to remember that.
- Focus. There are so many kind and helpful comments out there. I can choose to focus on them, see as much truth there as I fear I see in the negative comments.
- Detach. Make a conscious decision not to take these hateful comments personally. It’s literally a decision I can make. These people don’t really know me. At all. I will not take these things personally.
Did I need to name drop Moby in order to write this post? No. Did I want to mention his wisdom? Yes.
For more of Moby’s musings, check out Porcelain: A Memoir, and his other books Gristle: From Factor Farms to Food Safety and Teany Book: Stories, Food, Romance, Cartoons and, of Course, Tea—which are available on Amazon.
And if you are anywhere near Los Angeles, you must visit Little Pine. Get the Broccoli Arancini (think crab cakes but better), Panko Crusted Piccata (scallopini with lemon caper mashed potatoes) and the S’mores Ganache.